Letting Go. . .

I recently was reading through stories in the Bible and came across the story of King Solomon and the two mothers. Two women had given birth but one had rolled over in night and accidently killed her child. So with a jealous heart she went and swapped the babies and took the live one for her own. The story goes that when they awoke and found the babies, one alive and the other dead, they went to King Solomon to determine the real mother to the one remaining child. Solomon advice was to split the child and let each have a half. One mother said ok and the other, the real mother, said "no give her to the other cause then at least the child is still alive". Now I know that this story is about the wisdom of Solomon, but I think also there is something to be said for the mother who had enough love for her child, that to see the child live, she was willing to let him go.

This is real love. Love that is willing to let go in order for lives to be saved. This love, I believe, can be greater because it has the element of thinking of others over self. But this love is hard. Not easily obtained. In todays day very rare. This is true love. Loving so completely that the other's needs are met . . . first.

I am not real good at this love. It requires sacrifice and heartache. It requires letting go. I wish I was a pro at this but I'm not. Outside of my family and a select friend or two, my ability to love completely wanes.

I need to think more of others and less of me. This is what the mother in Solomon's time was able to do. In the end she loved, lost and loved again. I hope this is true of me too.

When It's Good . . . . . .

Cindy makes these Chocolate Graham Cracker Peanut Butter bars. Graham cracker, powdered sugar, peanut butter crust with a chocolate topping. I love it. I ask for it every year for my birthday and anytime in-between. It is my all time favorite dessert. It is the one dessert that i can eat till I feel ready to explode. . . . . and then have just one more!!!!! It is a diet busting dessert for me. I come home from work in the morning and have a piece. If I walk by it during the day, I have a piece. If I can sneak one before dinner I will and then you have to have one for dessert afterwards. It is just good!!!!! There are no two ways around it. When there is a pan of it in the house, everything is just happier for me.

Lately my life has been a pan of Chocolate Graham Cracker Peanut Butter bars. My relationship to my wife is good, my kids is good, my work is good and my friends are good. I am in a happy place right now and I do not want it to end. I want my Chocolate Graham Cracker Peanut Butter bars to last forever and ever.

And not gain any weight :)

Smokey Down!!

I'm sad. Smokey my German Shepard is hurting. We always argue amongst ourselves how old Smokey really is, we think around 9, 10 or even 11 years old. You see it's the hips. In large breed dogs, a common occurrence is hip dysplasia. She has carried the weight of her body as well as the responsibilities of the protecting the house. For years Smokey has been the one who has stood guard at the front door, was the imposing figure when someone unknown came to the house. I could not tell you how many times strangers have come to the house and been stopped cold by a simple look, not willing to find out what would happen if things went bad. But now Smokey is hurting, barely able to carry the weight of responsibility much less her own body.

This saddens me.

But that is only part of it, then there's Bella. The companion, the friend. We have had other dogs in the house, but Smokey has always held a higher place with Bella. Smokey is not like any other dog to Bella, they are companions, true companions. Its not physical, it never was, it would never work. They are too opposite. Its a chemistry, a knowing that connects the two, something that most animals, much less humans never have.

I am sad today because Smokey is hurting. I see it, my family sees it and I'm sure Bella sees it.

The Bond

I hate it when my life and the lives of those I love are affected negatively by outside influences, influences we cannot control. Politicians are notorious for doing this. They make decisions that affect us, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad but most of the time for there own benefit. The city of Brea has a Fire Chief that is making decisions to save his own skin but he doesn't realize that those same decisions affect the lives, well-being and even the safety of the Firefighters that have to work under them. It is selfish on his part to not see that his decisions and actions can and do have a negative affect on the lives and relationships of those that work around him.

Now I am truly an optimist but it is hard in times like this to see good in this situation. But if you look hard enough, it is there, way in the back. An Army drill sergeant purposely imposes and embodies adversity to create and strengthen the bond between soldiers. Adversity and strife have the ability to tear individuals down, but to more than one person, a couple, a crew, or a department, it strengthens a bond and can deepen relationships.

This is what happens when a Fire Chief, a Politician, a Drill Sergeant or a Captain create adversity, the bonds of friendship, of camaraderie, of relationships, while put to the test, are strengthened.

She's Back

Well for the last year we have been a family of five. Not that I didn't like my family of six, but when one of the chicks jumped the nest, we had to re-adjust. Now I know that this is going to be a hard transition for all of us. But I am glad that my oldest chick is back in the nest or at least back within my sphere of influence.

You've Got a Friend

How many friends can one person have. Ashton Kutchner had a race with Oprah as to who could get the most Twitter followers. I used to always accept friend requests on Facebook because it seemed to show how many people were my "friend" or at least took enough interest in me to hit a button and send a friend request. But I am struck by the very few amount of real friends that I truely have. My brother was my best man when I got married. But he's also my brother not just my friend. Of the other 4 guys that I had standing with me, I only really talk to one of them and that is only occasionally.

James Taylor put it the best when he said,

"When you're down and troubled

and you need a helping hand

when nothing, whoa nothing is going right

Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there

to brighten up even your darkest days"

He goes on to say,

"Winter, spring, summer and fall

all you have to do is call

and I'll be there yes I will ,

You've got a friend"

If this song were a list of requirements for my friendship then I think I would lose all . . .well . . .almost all of my friends.

A best friend is someone who meets these criteria and then some.

A best friend is someone who isn't constrained by seasons and all I have to do is call....

A best friend is someone who isn't afraid of the hard conversations but loves the easy ones.

A best friend is someone who will listen to me, then kicks my butt and sparks action.

This list can go on forever. But the bottom line is that I have this friend, a real best friend. and that is special to me.

Really

Unconditional Love

I had a talk with one of the guys I work with lately and the subject centered around kids and the joy they bring and even the heartache they cause. And how seemingly no matter how mad you get at them, or how many times they push your buttons, you still cannot help but love them, completely. This is unconditional love. How is it that someone you have never met, never laid eyes on, never held in your arms, you would, at that instant, laid down your life for without question. That is how I feel about my kids. Jenna is my 16 year old daughter. She can get under my skin almost like no other (her older brother was pretty good too). There is almost no day that goes by where we don't clash in one area or another, driving, boys, friends the list is endless. But in the midst of strife and even when the dust settles, I can't help but love her completely. Alyssa drove me batty, Zachary tried to kill me, Jenna is in the middle of slaying me and Shelby is beginning to aim the gun. But I love em!! Unconditionally.

I have friendships that border on this as well. I can experience strife, miscommunication, LOS (see previous posts), but I always come back to them, I care for them, I worry for them, and I continue to love them. I hurt when they hurt, I am sad when they are sad and I miss them when they are not around. They pursue me or I pursue them, either way there is no obstacle or barrier that cannot be overcome. They love me unconditionally sometimes even in spite of me. I need these people in my life, more and more. They keep me grounded and challenged and I need that.

Smitten

These two are at it again. Inseparable. It is definitely against all odds. The only word I can think of for these two is Smitten.

Smokey + Kitten = Smitten.

They are together constantly. One with beauty and grace and the other with protection and security. There is no explanation other than they are Smitten by each other. I think I'm going to have a small ceremony for the two of them.

Out of Reach

I was recently in a grocery store near my house and while walking down one of the isles watched as a lady was hopelessly looking for ways to reach an item on the top shelf. There was no way she was going to succeed, absolutely not it was completely out of reach. So being a 6 ft tall (ruggedly handsome) man, I asked her if I could help and promptly got her item.

My son became a Fire Explorer at the station I work at, even though he is not under my direct supervision I can reach out and touch him. Alyssa lives in Colorado and while it may be difficult at times I can still call, or text, or in some way reach out and touch her. My best friends live in Ohio and Washington State and I can at almost anytime night or day, reach out and call, text, skype or email.

It's when things or people are out of reach, just beyond my ability to call, text affect, or reach that makes me sad. When they are on the top shelf just inches from your fingertips and if you could grow your arm . . .just . . . alittle then you could reach them. Worse when you can see the item and watch your fingers dance on the edge of grasping.

NASA calls this time during re-entry, LOS for Loss of Signal. It is roughly 1310 seconds and during that time everyone is on edge, in anticipation of ROS or Return Of Signal.
I don't want to have 1310 seconds of LOS from any of those who I love and care about much less 1 second. And if they are, then I can't wait to have them ROS

Paradise

Charles Lindbergh, as he was dying of cancer was given the opportunity to stay in New York and go through therapy that could possibly briefly extend his life or home to the island of Maui in Hawaii. Before two weeks ago I would have thought him crazy, but after having spent just a little time there I can easily see his point of view.
The moment we landed at LAX we knew we were back. The airport smelled of smoke, people were hurrying on their way not even bothering to look up or heaven forbid say hello.
Paradise was gone.
The soft sandy beaches, flip flops (my new shoe of choice) shorts and where the evening entertainment is the sunset on the beach and it never grows old. This is what we left. The happy part is that I know this place exists and I will be going back. Soon.

Sent from my iPhone

The next to the Last Day

It is the second to the last night here in Hawaii. I cannot believe all the things we have done. It would seem that whenever we go on vacations to a place we have never been before, we do everything imaginable in the short time we have here. Parasailing, zip lining, snorkeling, boat tours Road to Hana, paddle boarding, jumping off cliffs into ponds. All these things that most people do over the coarse of years, we do in one week. Hectic fast furious and a lot of fun with a capital F. One of these days we will take a vacation and actually rest and relax. . . . Maybe

Sent from my iPhone

Mermaid

I knew we would see one and she is beautiful. My Mermaid

Dolphins!!!!

We went on a boat/snorkeling tour one day. We went to Molokini which is a giant underwater crater that has great snorkeling and then to a site called Mani Lau where there was allot of the same fish. I think they just followed the boat and showed up looking for handouts. Now don't get me wrong, snorkeling is fun although I can only take so much of floating around looking at the bottom of the ocean. The real fun came on the return trip the marina where we came across a extremely large pod of dolphins. We were not guaranteed any dolphin sightings so when we came upon this pod it was exciting. Almost as exciting as 122 people rushing to one side of the boat. Good thing there was a few of the heavier people who stayed on the other side.

Tattoos

Are you kidding me!!! There we are in a surf shop renting snorkeling gear, paddle and boogie boards and Jenna and Alyssa both come rushing in to say that they have found a Henna Tattoo shop next door and can they each get one. Well my first thought is to be the responsible dad and say that "Your Grandma would kill you if she found our you guys had a tattoo!!!" But by the time we came back later that evening, all six of us were lined up waiting and who do you think was first in line??? Yup, your's truly. "Well they needed someone to go first". So now I wonder what's next . . . corn-rows, piercings, BOYFRIENDS!!!!! May it never be. . . . .

The Real Day One

Ok, so this is the REAL day one. Our first full day here on Maui. Holy Smokes. We got problems..... The kids have already said that this is the best day of the trip so far!!!! Snorkeling with sea turtles, paddle boarding righteous sunset (again) and Tattoos (Henna Tattoos). If I am correct then aren't you supposed to build up to the last day of the trip and have it be the bestest day ever!! we are definitely in trouble.

Day One

This is the first day here in Hawaii. Now we did spend a large portion of the time on an airplane but it was fun. The trip from one island to another was very fun. Just as we were getting into Maui the pilot decided to bank real hard coming in line with the runway. and when I say hard, I mean real hard. We were looking at the ground from our window...straight down, crazy. I've been in small planes and I know how much fun it is to bank hard, so I know the pilot enjoyed it. So inspite of the excitement of the trip we made it here. Hooray!!!!!

Number 49

One of the most fun distinctions that I have and my kids all think it is great is that I have had the opportunity to visit all 48 states in the continental United States. From Maine to Florida and California to New York and everywhere in-between. I have seen the fort at St Augustine in Florida, Mt Rushmore, Old Faithful. My family stepped into Maine just to say we had been there. But now I have the opportunity to up the ante. Hawaii. Tomorrow I will be able to add one more state to the list of states I've stepped foot in. And it will be fun. With a Capital F.....

Ouch

Isn't it funny how a couple of bones the size of your wrist, along with a bunch of muscles can hold the entire body erect. And when those bones are out of whack it affects everything. Well my back hurts. It's a ailment that I have been dealing with since a volleyball injury in college and having one leg just alittle longer than the other certainly doesn't help. The worst part is that I am heading to Hawaii in less than36 hours. Motrin and ice, then ice and Motrin. I am glad all 4 of my children are going with me that way they can carry me where ever we go. Or maybe even just leave me on the beach with a drink that has an umbrella and check on me at the end of the week.

Adventure Travel

I guess this post was destine to happen. in a nutshell, I love to travel. We are headed to Hawaii in roughly 72 hours and I cant wait. Not just for the great fun that we are going to have but for the trip itself. I love every aspect especially the airport. At the airport, people are going somewhere or arriving from somewhere. It is fun to people watch there. but I digress. . . . When I get on a plane there is a sense of adventure, going someplace I have never been before and seeing something I have maybe only seen in pictures. I think I got this ability to travel from the days when as a kid my dad, every August, would load up the Chevy Van and tent trailer and the family would take off for a months adventure to . . . where ever. Across the United States, Pacific to Atlantic, Canada to the Gulf. I have see the Baseball, Football, Cowboy and Indian Halls of Fame. The petrified Forrest, the Niagara Falls, Times Square, The Ozarks. Been to every state in the Continental United States, even Maine. And now I get to go to Hawaii. Number 49 for me. I can't wait.

Father's Day

I initially did not have high hopes for a exciting Father's Day this year. I had just got done working 48 hours and Cindy was spending the day at the hospital making sure things run smoothly as only she can make them. So I figured my day would go something like this..... Come home tired, find kids asleep, go to Church by myself send the afternoon watching TV or cleaning something that needed cleaning, dinner at a local restaurant and home to bed. Wooohooo.

But I was surprised. When I did get home I was not that tired and even though I went to the 9:00 service by myself at Northpoint, by the time I got home the kids were ready for the 11:00 service at Crossroads. The service was awesome every aspect of it. They had stuff for men to do afterwards with their families like Rock climbing, hackett and knife throwing, off-road course. car show, paintball, live rock band (first time I have ever heard Hotel California sung at a church) and a dozen other things. We then headed to Chronic Tacos for lunch (shrimp burritos) and then to Iron Man 2 in the afternoon. We picked up Cindy and headed to Kings Fish House for dinner and I ordered (for the first time) sushi and Zach and Jenna each tried a piece. While they were not to excited about it, I was in 7th heaven, it was awesome. Then to Target to shop for our trip to Hawaii. I had alot of fun and I had the power of Father's Day which means I can say things like, "Don't argue cause its Father's Day" and " I want to drive, cause its Father's Day". It was great.

Everything turned out OK. Until I realized I had forgotten to call my own dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day. Luckly I had 30 minutes before midnight and made it just under the wire. I was so busy worrying about My Father's Day that I forgot I had a Father. But dad, don't feel too bad. I missed mom on Mother's Day too.....